Immigration to the United States is enough to challenge any adult, nonetheless a child. The children are taken away from everything that is familiar, to them, everything that defined their world, and most likely thrown into a significantly different culture. Everything that made them themselves, and defined them as part of the culture they have lived in until the immigration to the United State, may have just changed.
Obviously, not everything is completely different, yet so much has changed, and is about to change, that one must not be surprise of the toll it is about to take. They say that children adjust quickly, but I am not so sure. The response of a child to change of such magnitude is probably individualized, and a multifactorial in nature.
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Naturally, the parents, and the children tend to preserve as much of their homeland culture as possible. Ever more so if their stay in the United States is not destined to become permanent (via immigrant visa, green cards, and or American citizenship). Immediately opposing this wishes, intentions, and goals is the naturally human need to fit in.
There is a difference between wanting to be unique, loosing your culture, loosing yourself, and fitting in. One can immigrate to the United States, and fit in without significant negative consequences to who and how they are. With that said, no one should be so naive to believe that the immigration process and the culture in the United States will have no effect.
Cultural, lingual, religious, financial, social, physical, and many more aspects of life may clash in a hidden battle over the influence of the immigrant children. This battle is constant, as during the day, they try to assimilate into American culture and society, yet they return to an immigrant family and household, trying to keep their original identity as much as possible.
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The ability to transition between the two worlds on a daily basis is difficult, confusing, and challenging. Who's to say that the parents are dealing with these immigration related challenges any better? Who's to say that they have good answers and solutions, if at all.
The challenge is clear; assimilate into American culture with minimum effort, and minimum influence on your original identity.
While this is not a call to resist change, or to perceive change, it is important to find the correct balance, otherwise a person could lose themselves, and drown. At some point, the children may find themselves being successful and happy in the United States, causing them to want to be more American than their original ethnicity, culture, etc.
Depending on the age at which they immigrated with their family to the United States, they made be more American than anything else, and subjected to pressure from their parents to be more as they would be if they had not immigrated at all. If the children are a religious minority in the location in the United States they have immigrated to, religious challenges may also be part of their every day life.
For example, an immigrant child might be Jewish, yet fall in love with someone that is Christian. While I do not personally have a problem with such love and a relationship, some immigrant parents might, for multiple reasons. Change is fact, now the name of the game is control, regulation, and acceptance.
In light of all of the above, it is important that anyone and everyone possible become the child's support system; That the parents and the children be surrounded by a supportive, inclusive, and understanding environment. Also know, your child is the first immigrant child to undergo these challenges and processes, and not the last.
Here is the short version of my advice to the parents that have brought their children to the United States for more than touristic reasons. - know that it is you that had brought them to the United States (no matter what the reasons are); Know that they will change rather if you want it to happen or not. While it is normal to want to minimize the influence of their life in the United States, it is not realistic to expect no influence at all, and it is not fair to blame them when they are influenced. After all, they did not bring themselves to the United States...you did.
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