I have been in the United States for about 10 years now. Believe it or not, I am still finding out new thoughts and feeling I had have and am having regarding my immigration to the United States, and being an immigrant. I have been an American citizen for about 2.5 years now, but it still feels weird at times. It is complex, and it takes a lot of time to get it!
I don't think it is a matter of intelligence as much as it is a process that cannot be rushed. The fact that immigration to the United States, being an immigrant in the United States, and becoming an American citizen take years, and these years are full of experiences that slowly influence you, mold you, change you, becoming a new version of you.
It is hardest at the beginning. I think of the immigration process and being and immigrant the same as a dust cloud being created; At first there is so much going on, yet it is hard to see within the dust cloud, and it is harder to see beyond it. yet you are going to move through this dust cloud, be part of it, and then pass beyond it. Have no doubt, you are going to get some dust particles in your mouth, and...yuk.
This "immigration dust cloud" for me was made of many many "firsts", needs, gaps, insecurities, unpleasantries, conflicts, racism, discrimination, over-judging, financial and emotional instability, and too much lack of inclusiveness. Inclusiveness is a way of thinking, a way of life that results in true diversity, while fake diversity and fake inclusiveness may exist if inclusiveness is not true meant.
You are going to undergo a very long and influential journey, whether you like it or not. it take a great deal of reflection, soul seeking, analysis, and acceptance to fully grasp the many and deep effects of the immigration process and/or being an immigrant. Yes, money, a job, love, and stability help a lot, yet do not eliminate all effects and influences, and do not eliminate the process. You have still immigrated, and you are still an immigrant; Perhaps for ever...
It also takes time to learn from your mistakes; If you are even the type of person to do so. Refusing to change at all (even a bit), refusing to acknowledge the need for change (even a bit), and trying to impose your way and culture on other as a means to be accepted, will result in failure. America is not very accepting nor forgiving to those that do not accept the "American Way", though, I'd be damned if there is a clear understanding and definition of what that is...
This means that you are going to have to deal with many different types of Americans, different attitudes, definitions, thoughts, and way of life that Americans present. Ever more so, if traveling or moving between states. This can be challenging and confusing since all you want is for things to be so called black and white (with no gray). Yet, it is a lot o gray, which makes it challenging and constantly confusing.
There are as many "American Ways" as there are Americans, and the American Way is basically the "way" the next American you meet and are dependent upon thinks and acts. Thus, you will be in a constant process of trying to be as much you as possible, while adjusting to the American Way. This, takes a lot of time.
They say that everyone has an annoying neighbor, and if you do not have an annoying neighbor, you are the annoying neighbor! HaHa...
I am saying that if you have immigrated to the United States; You are an immigrant; Have read this post; and still do not think that anything of the above pertains to you; You are seriously in denial!
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For an immigrant to be in denial is to be in a state of being stuck, hindering progress, and delaying the Inevitable. While it takes time to get it, embracing an attitude of "change is good, me first" as oppose to an attitude of "change is good, you first", helps speed up the process, and achieve your goals faster. It takes time and practice at being a immigrant in the United States, nonetheless a successful one.
You might find out the need for constant change; You are not the only one with a strong love-hate relationship with change, and an even stronger denial related to it. Without change we would die, and yet most of us are strongly afraid of it, ever more so at advanced age. Do not create change recklessly, rather have a plan, with measurable goals, S.M.A.R.T. goals preferred. You need time to perfect your act as an immigrant; It takes a lot of time; So give it to yourself...
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