Oxford Languages defines “conflict” as “a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one”. One could define “conflict management” as the act of managing a situation at the workplace that includes a conflict of sort. “Conflict resolution” would be the goal and wanted result of conflict management.
Naturally, two parties take part in the creation of a workplace conflict, either knowingly or not. Yes, a party can create a conflict without knowing about it, yet most conflicts include two parties that are aware of the conflict at some point, if not three parties while including the manager/leader.
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Conflicts at the workplace can occur on a daily basis to a lesser extent as they are a natural result of people working with each other, diversity of opinions, knowledge, skills, abilities, and problem-solving approaches. Yet once in a while, a conflict of greater scale occurs, causing one or more processes to come to a halt making it clear that the conflict is resulting in dysfunction or even worse.
Often, the conflict is not managed by the conflicted parties, and thus is not resolved either. It is likely in such a situation that the intervention of a third party will be needed, preferably one of authority and decision-making capability. Let’s examine how a workplace conflict can be successfully managed and resolved. Please note that managing the workplace conflict and solving it are two separate actions/results…
In order to begin managing and resolving a workplace conflict it must be identified or be made known to the parties involved and/or a third party destined to manage/resolve the conflict. If one or more of the parties is not aware of the workplace conflict, conflict management and resolution are either postponed or do not occur at all.
If the workplace conflict is to be managed and resolved via a third party (which is very common and usually by the boss), it is important that the third party meet at least two criteria to begin with: A) They are accepted by the conflicted parties B) They have the knowledge, skills, and authority to make decisions. In addition, it is best if the conflicted parties perceive the conflict manager as being objective.
It is important to start by establishing what is accepted as respectful behavior and conductance during the conflict resolution process and what is accepted as respectful communications (especially verbal and body language). Furthermore, it is important to establish an agreeable process of which the conflict will be managed and resolved, and an agreeable timeline. The conflict manager also needs to establish an understanding of which actions are allowed and not allowed during the process itself. For example, the conflicted parties will avoid emailing each other in regards to the matter as much as possible and only if necessary to get work done.
Common acceptable communication rules include the following:
No cursing
No violent or threatening gestures
No getting into each other’s personal space
No use of objects
Allowing each other to finish sentences and ideas
Limiting each party’s time of speaking and alternating between parties
Respecting the time allocated to speaking
Other as needed (especially if it originates from the conflicted parties)
It is important to immediately establish common goals sought out by both conflicted parties. These may include:
The peaceful and respectful resolution of the conflict
The establishments of means to resolve the conflict
The establishment of a timeline to resolving the conflict
The establishment of the processes to resolving the conflict
The specific stages and steps to resolving the conflict
What is accepted as supportive data, evidence, etc. for a party’s claim/s
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After communications and common goals are established, it is important that the conflicted parties be engaged in finding common ground with each other by stating what they do agree about. Furthermore, leading the conflicted parties to complement the other conflicted party for some of their abilities and skills is highly advised in order to create a positive atmosphere and implement a half-cup-full attitude to the entire situation.
Next, lead the conflicted parties to write down what they believe is the root of the conflict and how they would suggest it be resolved. Have the conflicted parties utilize S.M.A.R.T. goals and S.M.A.R.T. objectives as much as possible (see related article). If they are not knowledgeable or experienced in the use of S.M.A.R.T. goals, you may either invest the time to teach them or leave it alone and not utilize them. Allow them to voice their concerns and fears freely – encourage openness in the communications.
Leading the conflicted parties to writing everything down, slows them down, shifts their focus from fighting to solving, and decreases any possible negative interactions. People also tend to be less feisty and nasty while writing than in the heat of the moment while talking. The use of S.M.A.R.T. goals and objectives naturally cause them to engage in possible solutions that they generate on their own (intrinsic vs extrinsic solutions).
Alternating between the conflicted parties, they each read and explain (within limited time) one S.M.A.R.T. goal at a time. Each conflicted party has the same limited time allocated to respectfully responding. Goals that are agreed upon, are “set in stone” by recording them (meeting minutes or on a board). An email summarizing each and every interaction as part of the conflict management and resolution process is sent immediately after.
Be sure as the conflict manager and resolver, to enforce the implementation of all that has been agreed upon, and do not allow any conflicted party “to get away” with violations of anything agreed upon. Make sure that by doing so, you yourself are not creating additional conflicts, and always maintain as much neutrality as possible.
It may occur that one party is unable or unwilling to accept a perfectly good solution or decision made. This may result from that conflicted party not understanding the solution/decision, defying the conflict manager’s authority, being negatively influenced by the decision, and more. It is important to cover all the bases with that conflicted party and make sure that they at least understand why this decision was made. It is further important to make sure that your authority as the conflict manager is respected, though in some cases an even more executive manager/leader may need to be included in the process going forward (especially if the conflict is extensively effecting function and causing extensive damage).
One also must consider the possible lack of one or more of the conflicted parties’ inability or unwillingness to collaborate or accept the solution/s as reasons for demotion or termination of their work. Of course, such a conclusion should not be achieved easily or hastily.
If all goes well, the conflict manager must issue the plan created as result of the above stages and processes and continuously follow up on its implementation and execution.
If further conflict raises, the same actions should be repeated until the conflict is resolved.
It is important to understand and realize that the conflict is not resolved until the parties return to a healthy functional level and the origins of the conflict where truly settled. Thus, it is important to distinct between managing the conflict and resolving the conflict since one can manage a workplace conflict poorly which could end in no conflict resolution. It actually might make things worse…
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