She’s my perfect. February, North Dakota 2015, we go on our first date after texting each other back and forth on Plenty of Fish for a while. We meet somewhere in the middle between Bismarck, ND and Minot, ND. She was stationed in Minot Air Force Base and I was teaching at the University of Mary, Bismarck, ND.
We didn’t even notice it was a holiday (neither of us can remember still which one it was), yet almost everything was closed. We started out in one place, didn’t like the menu, and ended up, continuing our first date in a diner…yep, a diner in rural North Dakota!
To be honest, though she was well-dressed, had amazing make-up on, and had her hair done, and wore an amazing blue coat, she was so stunning that she could have worn rags and I wouldn’t care. She was (still is) gorgeous!!!
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Her smile and eyes lit the whole area up, her hug sealed the deal immediately, and I forgot all my troubles as an immigrant. I won’t lie, there was so much wrong in my life at that point, but not her, she was right, very right. After divorcing in 2013, immigrating to the United States in 2014, dating on and off unsuccessfully and wrongfully, I finally met her.
Little did I know, she would be my perfect. Her service in the Air Force limited her ability to come to Bismarck, and I found myself traveling to Minot on the weekend. 110 miles or so in each direction with a Toyota Corolla at first and then a RAV 4, often while it was snowing. Never thought I would be so excited to reach anywhere in North Dakota…(sorry North Dakota).
By no means was either one of us perfect, you know, being human and all, but we seemed to be perfect for each other. We seemed to know how to be there for each other, contain each other’s imperfections, support each other, and see beyond the other’s shortcomings. We were able to see ourselves building a future rather than dwelling in anything from the past.
The relationship advanced firmly and quickly, we got engaged to be married, and hit a wall. We actually separated for a whole year. You are probably asking yourself how could she be my perfect if we broke up? – Breaking up never stopped her being my perfect, I guess it was needed to make us both realize how much it was so. Just like in all the movies.
I tried dating her out of my mind, just like the perfect idiot. But the truth is that even a million dates wouldn’t date her out of my life, not my mind, and I was suffering. At some point, I just couldn’t take it anymore and at 12:15pm I texted her (12 months after she broke up with me). As the idiot that I am, I actually fell asleep, just to wake up to the sound of her text message at 12:45am. She was very surprised to hear from me.
I could not take it anymore and did not give a damn about my honor or ego, all I wanted was my perfect back. I wrote to her that I am half a man without her and while I am completely secular, I was praying to every god that would listen begging them to make her still want me, and if they don’t mind, make her still available…
Serving in the Air Force, my perfect was now stationed in San Antonio, TX. I was determined to go anywhere to see her and be with her. I couldn’t stand being aware from her, could stand the version of me without her. We texted and talked, and I got to visit with her in San Antonio, and finally reunited with her couch… ah, the couch, I remember you. The night on the couch was interesting, and painful to every bone in my body. It was the closest couch to my perfect and thus the perfect couch!
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We spent the day warming up to each other, talking, building bridges back up, re-connecting, re-assuring each other on how we could overcome the problems that made us break up, setting up a plan for the future where we succeed and stay together. That night, the couch slept alone, we slept together, and have slept together ever since.
My perfect and I continued to work on our problems, especially those that caused us to break up, we each took more and more baby steps towards each other, to make sure that the other knew we were serious about the relationship and the future, until we were so strong, there was only one thing to do – get married.
We got married in 2018 and had our honeymoon in the UP, Michigan. Not a day goes by without our relationship getting stronger, even if that day includes an argument, a disagreement, or an imperfection. We grow stronger and perfect as a couple, while remaining imperfect as humans. She was able to see worth in me as an immigrant, she saw me as a person first and immigrant second (if at all), and she single-handedly makes me the best person I can be. My perfect makes me feel invincible!
It is not easy coming to the United States as an immigrant, alone, broke, and broken. But guys, I am telling you, if you happen to find your perfect, anything becomes possible, and everything becomes easier. I am conflicted if to write this because it is going to get harder now, but I will share with you all, that I have been playing a game for years now, where I sneak peeks at my perfect without her seeing.
The purpose is to look at my gorgeous wife without her noticing for as long as possible and being able to think as many positive thoughts about her and us as possible before “detected”. She does notice at some point, looks at me, and smiles. God damn it she’s gorgeous, she’s my perfect!
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